I was walking home after work the other day, in front of me at a distance I saw the silhouette of a  girl, short black dress, high heels and long flowing hair.

It was her attire that caught my attention, it was her life that hit me in the gut.

As I got closer I began to notice the irregularities in her skin, the uneveness and discoloration, until what I thought was a skin defect turned out to be burns.
She had severe burn marks , skin blackened, scarred and crumpled into itself. Her legs, knees and calves, fingers, arms and shoulders… all the way to her her face.
I watched as people looked at her, as she tried to face them and their curious stares,  she desperately trying to hide the obvious wounds on her.

My most immediate reaction came in questions. Questions what happened with her? Why did it happen to her? How did it happen to her? How is she now?
How is she living with this?

Our minds crave understanding, a reasoning, a logic that we can accept. A sentence that would justify our present and ongoing conditions. We want to know, always chasing that idea that knowing would make it easier, that knowing would make it more acceptable.
Sometimes we get our reason, most of the times we don’t

I don’t know why my college senior,  the one everyone wanted to be like, the one everyone wanted to be friends with, the one who had tremendous talent and even greater will I don’t understand why she lost her life at the age of 25. I couldn’t tell you why

I don’t know why the people who promised to love each other, can’t even stand in the same room now. I couldn’t tell you why

I don’t know why the person who said would always be by myside, left me at the first sign of trouble. I couldn’t tell you why.

I don’t know why things happen the way they do, but I believe everything happens for a reason, even if it isnt apparent,  even if its something I cannot understand,  even if its something I disagree with, even if its something that is causing deep and immense afflication.

I have learnt that Life is the sum of all the things we understand and all the things we are called to have faith in. It is in all the choices we make and all the choices that make us.
We may not have all the answers, and maybe we’re not always meant to have the answers, all we have is our broken situations,  our shattered person, and our ravaged heart, but its more than enough to make a living.
In the chaos of this unknown and inexplicable, we find the find our true joy.

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Here’s to not knowing but still beliveing and to Chris August. 
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