My trials with the Supermarket Cashiers

When worrying about what people think of me, the first person that I am worried about is our supermarket Cashiers, I don’t personally own the supermarket, but have invested a lot of my time and money there to warrant it as my own.

I used to think, they must think me to be a weird character, judging by the things I buy. Now I am sure of it, and I can’t say which is worse knowing or not knowing.

Like last week I stood in line for 5 whole minutes just to buy an Eraser. Only just the eraser.
You would think this would not be a problem, but in our supermarket its a cause of worry and great misunderstanding.

The guy was so confused, because the eraser is so small, he wasn’t even sure if he was supposed to bag it.
Are you though, does an eraser really need an entire bag, the obvious answer is no, but if you don’t bag it, it looks like you shop lifted the thing? what kind of thief steals eraser? What are you going to do with stolen erasers? start an eraser gang and sell it in the black market?

the other option is of course to bag it, but if you do bag it, those environmentalists people/activists/pigeon breeders look at you ( pigeon breeders are the worst, they have weapons that torment you and your offspring for life : Pigeons)

There is no win in this situation, the birds got to me, I walked out, head hung low, eraser in my hand, vowing never to step foot in that pigeon breeder/suspicious cashier hangout place again.

and then Never got over pretty quickly.

I buy shampoo & Conditioner bottles every other week, if you see my hair, you’ll understand my predicament.
I could start my own bottle collection that I have bought over the past couple of months.
(Shampoo Bottle collection, maybe in a few years time History Channel and their auction guys would be interested in that)

I love shampoo (not that kind of love -love), but I figure I need it in order not to be an outcast in society, that being said, I am not too fond of buying shampoo, but sometimes you got to do the hard stuff.
In the battle between non-greasy hair and glares from the Cashier, I pick Non- Greasy Hair.
I can almost feel the thoughts pouring out of her, like a dialogue bubble over her head:

Seriously, this is like the third bottle this month, are you drinking this or showering with it? even if you do shower with it, are you having a bath every 3 seconds? I blame you for all the soap-sud-saturated rivers in the world. Its your fault if the fish die. Fish killer, Binge shampoo-er, horrible hair person

Sometimes it’s not just what I buy, but in the combination in which I buy them that attracts all the gazing and staring and glaring.
Like the combination of Yogurt, Dish washing liquid and a Pack of Maltesers.
What can you possible do with those three? what good is such a combination?

I can see the cashier checking out the items, one eyebrow raised, silently saying

Seriously is this what you are going to buy? what are you crazy?

Sometimes I wonder if the universe orchestrates such moments to amuse the cashiers, then I think maybe I am crazy for being crazy about what the cashier is thinking.
other times I just eat my maltesers and go my way, thinking maybe its time to change to another supermarket.

Sigh

Here’s to life, Maltesers and the Cashiers
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