Leaving, brothers and a little bit of pain

Separation is sucks and saying Good Bye stinks. That’s the nicest way I can say that. I cannot fully explain my strong dislike for Separation and leaving.

There comes a time,at various points in your life when people have to leave and go. Sometimes its temporary and sometimes it is permanent, but its painful all the time. The heart wrenching, tear jerking,bringing you to your knees kind of pain. Its not easy. Everyone has someone who has left for better jobs or for higher education or for some reason or the other.

Mine happens to be higher education.

In only a couple of days my brother leaves for college. I’ve been preparing this day for over 2 years now, which seems like a long time but now that I am here and I see the room surrounded with suitcases that are being filled and wardrobes being emptied; my heart has sunk to the bottom-est place possible. It just dawned on me what is about to happen. All my preparation and resolve to be tough and strong just melted at the sight of the suitcases.

A part of me doesn’t want him to go and another knows he has to. And so I have to. My heart wants to be selfish but my head won’t allow me too.
So its time for him to go and find his place in this world, to find himself and his identity. And even if its painful, the people we love deserve to have their chance.

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So in a couple of days I will stand at the airport and send him off with a smile and a whole lot of love and wish him nothing but the best and hope that he finds what he is looking for. And after he leaves,  I will return to that bare room and there will be overwhelming sense that one phase of our lives are over and another is about to begin.and in that moment I’ll cry out the sadness, feel the heaviness of my heart and after that I’ll breathe in the Hope and believe that things will remain the same, that no matter what I still have a brother and I still get to love him and our bond will be strong as ever. And for that I will forever be grateful.

Its always hope.
Here’s to life’s horrible ways of testing you , making you feel miserable and then giving you the victory.
-Sabrina

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