There are days that you feel like nothing good is ever going to come out of anything, that you will die a slow, painful death with no record of anything in life, like Methuselah, who’s only achievement was being a father in his 900+ years of living, and then it dawns on you that that was sufficient enough to land him a mention in the Bible, and you yourself are never going to even amount to that much. That being said days like that do seem to stretch for what seems like 900+ years, they don’t ever want to get over, the next day seems to be in no hurry to get here. Its on days like these that you should play all the sad and heart breaking songs ever sung in history, genre doesn’t matter as long as the singer is feeling as miserable as you are( even though he/she is paid for his sorrows….. and talent).. I am kidding though that is the worst way to go.
On these days you realize how far away from home you are, how much you miss your best friend, how far away you are from her all, how you really need someone to hold you and steady your heart.. I hate feeling miserable, but sometimes being miserable is a good thing, it makes me appreciate how many more non-miserable days I have as compared to the miserable ones and then I am happy again.
But then those days are truly learning experiences for me, every time I get that way I am forced to see how my problems are tiny and minuscule as compared to other people who are just drowning in all their challenges and difficulties, yet manage to smile. Its on these days that you actually see instead of looking, you listen instead of hearing and you understand instead of just letting it run through your mind, your heart comes alive and picks up all these little things that you miss everyday and you are better again… You see a stranger smile at you for no reason at all, you see a child help an older person cross the road, you see a mother kiss her baby, you see friends just hug each other and then trash talk and it just makes you smile, you see the girls all giggling as they pass by a group of guys, you see the guys turning their heads to look at the girls acting all macho, you see a really old couple sharing a newspaper on a park bench, you see someone laughing loudly and hope floods you in for no other reason that somewhere God has arranged all of this to make you smile and you realize that you are God’s baby and He is your father and above all things he is smiling at you and he wants to make you feel alive again, hopeful once more knowing that your life is going to count for so much more than Methuselah’s ever did.
and then you realize that you are ok, the world is ok ,your heart is ok and Your father in heaven really knows how to take care of his own, and you sleep peacefully in his arms and under his watchful eyes…….